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The bear has the flu, hard, and I have a major work event that is wringing my neck. So no time or energy left for anything difficult and irritating, like the blogosphere, or exercise, or pants.

Today I managed to crawl off the floor where I’d been napping for hours and make it down to the local coffeehouse to get lattes and a toy for my influenza bear. It was Midwestern-white-guy-has-a-guitar night. I always find coffeehouse performances cringe-inducing, both for the general quality and ill-advisement of Radiohead covers, and for the embarrassment I feel for the poor schmuck who thought this was a good idea. I can never help but imagine them at home, playing in front of their mirrors, stopping at certain points to let their lyrics wash over them, “wow, man, that’s good, I like that,” practicing their “thank you, thank you, you guys are great” spontaneously in the shower, showing their lyrics to kind-hearted and drunken girlfriends who tell them, “you’re so intuitive, honey, you really understand the human condition.” To have it all come down to distracting university fucknuts who are trying to surf facebook and look really serious. I just wait for the white boys to snap, start muttering “worms in my brain get them out thank you thank you you’ve been great.” Oh god, it burns like acid.

As I was paying, the guy finished a song. After about five long seconds of silence, the patrons perked up and half-heartedly clapped. “Thank you, thank you,” he said. “You know, my dad used to take me down here when I was a kid. Fifteen years, yeah. I’ve seen a lot of music acts come through. I even saw (This One Dude Nobody Knows) when he came through town. That was exciting. Did anybody else see that? No? Well, it was great. Yeah, I saw him, I saw a lot of bands… though I guess… I guess I don’t remember any of the other ones…”

Long, involuntary moment of self-reflection.

“Well, I guess it’s time for another song.”

There is not enough :( in the world.



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